


not sure as to when or why, but where and how

by Reneth



Category: Twilight Series - All Media Types
Genre: Doesn't Matter Actually, F/F, I Wrote This Instead of Sleeping, Monochrome, Multi, Please don't sue me?, References to RWBY, Sad and Happy, Stream of Consciousness, Unrequited Crush, Why Did I Write This?
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-11-11
Updated: 2020-11-15
Packaged: 2021-03-09 19:08:28
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 7
Words: 955
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27511312
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Reneth/pseuds/Reneth
Relationships: Jacob Black/Edward Cullen/Emmett Cullen, Leah Clearwater/Angela Weber, Mike Newton/Tyler Crowley/Eric Yorkie, Rosalie Hale/Bella Swan
Kudos: 10





	1. Chapter 1

"I think I miss what I didn't have."

That piques Rosalie's interest. Bella can tell, with the ever so slight squint and brow raising.

"I didn't have a mom, not really. But I can see who she could have been in Esme."

"She'd appreciate the compliment."

"If I told her myself."

"You won't tell her?" Bella can tell she's confusing the vampire.

"No."

"Oh."

They both lapse in silence.

Rosalie finally breaks it. "What do you mean 'not really'?"

"She beat me blue and purple when no one looked. But she held a façade to the outside world." The brunette ignored the sudden growl after she said 'beat'.

"Have you told someone?"

The blonde didn't expect the forced laugh born of suppressed emotion. "Phil blew her head off. Then his self."

"Oh."

The air between them is thicker.

"I'm sorry."

. . .

"I am too."


	2. Chapter 2

"Hey."

"I'm gay."

"Oh. Same."

Bella didn't exactly expect that response from Jacob, yet here we are. "Can I braid your hair?" Bella asks.

Jacob shrugs and nods, then the lanky girl leads into the house as their fathers play fight in the living room.

They don't say much, just throw music back and forth, surprised they like the same stuff. Sort of.

"Retro and Synthwave are different."

Jacob doesn't agree.

Bella thinks she likes it that way. "This is gay."

Jacob _does_ agree.

She likes it that way, too.


	3. Chapter 3

She felt stuck. And claustrophobic. Maybe they were the same thing? But she also didn't really feel like she was there. Bella just kind of spaces when she hangs out with people, or listens to music. Or both.

Alice seemed to have taken it upon herself to do the same with her. Which is. Weird?

Appreciated.

Concerning...?

"Sometimes I can't look at fashion without thinking about Jeffree Star."

Alice kind of wants to have a meltdown. Bella agrees with the nymph regardless. "I also bought the entirety of his and Shanes' collection. Well, I bought it all second hand, giving plenty of money back to people. It trended on Twitter."

"Aren't you flammable?"

"I wanted you to join. Then saw you were with Jacob."

"Mm."

The brunette is amazingly adapt at not speaking. She also realized she never said what the Cullen and Hale clan were. Alice knows though. Which led to Edward. She thinks.

"Edward knows."

"Mm. Why aren't you and Jasper together, again?"

"He drank his horse."

"He got off his high-horse?"

"After realizing we weren't Mates. Hence, he drank his horse, and left."

That makes more sense.

"I'm sorry."

"I'm not. I am excited though."

Bella nods.

She's tired.


	4. Chapter 4

"I never liked the sun."

Bella is surprised she even said those words. But frankly realized it was true.

Angela doesn't really understand, yet smiles and nods.

"It got in the eyes. It never rained. I felt dried out. Or almost bled out." The pale girl let out a self-deprecating snort. Angela nods again, already knowing how broken she was at first.

"I like it here much better." 'Where there's real weather' went unsaid. She silently cries.

Angela just hugs her, Leah making it a group hug after arriving with their lunches.

Bella wonders when she started being this emotionally open. As more tears fall, she realizes the sun is shining.


	5. Chapter 5

She couldn't tell if she should be proud or not. I mean, she guess she should? But being a newborn was only going to last so long.

Still doesn't stop the glee of breaking Emmett's arm.

He _did_ challenge her.

They've been at this for a few days, honestly. Bella knows via Jasper that her emotions will always be all over the place. So putting it in more physical ranges with the Man Bear didn't hurt anyone.

Besides himself.

She breaks another of his limbs a couple days later.

Rosalie is sometimes the only person to calm her.

Maybe she call up Victoria. She has a Gift of Survival, after all.

"You suck!"

"And you swallow!"

Bella breaks this time.

That might be better, honestly.


	6. Chapter 6

First time I met Victoria was at that blessed (read: cursed) baseball game. She took one look at me and realized her life was a farce.

Then she killed what a mess her "coven" was.

It was also the first time I saw a vampire die.

I should likely explain me and Victoria are family, which is an odd way to think of life. It didn't really feel small, just the endless possibilities of life now forever sat like a tantalizing secret.

Maybe she was the start of gayness in the family.

I have a sibling now too.


	7. Chapter 7

Lauren didn't understand how this new girl suddenly got all the attention, especially from the _Cullens_. She hated to admit it, but she understood when Bella looked at Rosalie, and _the_ Rosalie Hale looked back like she was her whole universe.

It was sickeningly cute.

I wanted to destroy Hale's happiness as much as I could, I tried to when I went after her boyfriend.

I swore to destroy Swan once I saw their look.

Then I learned Angela was gay and got a girlfriend. When did that happen? Mike and Tyler are now dating Eric? What? What the _fuck!?_

I tried for weeks. Months even. But all it did was hurt me.

And Bella. Shy, quiet, understanding Bella, not unlike our own Angela, whom even joined the Swan, broke me from my own nightmare. I was terrified. I wanted to scream, to run, pretend like nothing was real; it was all a dream.

She destroyed me.

And now she was gone.

And anything that was left of who she was and who hung out with her, disappeared. Maybe it was a dream.

My own nightmare.


End file.
